ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
