i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
