just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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