arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
do herpes really smell.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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