I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We need a shit load of segways right now
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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