Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
