I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
