erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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