**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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