I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
