i think my tv is drunk
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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