Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
