I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
