covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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