I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I touched a dick in church today
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize