I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize