my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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