Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
