Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
