HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize