Umm I'm too high to move.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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