Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I have feelings that need drinking.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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