If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
