so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
