I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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