They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Dick very happy bro
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize