My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
