Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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