You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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