i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
