My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
