I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
