Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
