he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
