Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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