Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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