At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
