I puked a lego.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
