she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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