i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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