k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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