I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
