your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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