i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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