Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He passed out mid-signature
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize