My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
