i love accidental penises.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
