She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
