Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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