so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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