From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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