what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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