bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize