Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Who did Billy Mays play for?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
