Do you still have your period?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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