hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
tell me about the eggs
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
