Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize