You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
