at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
