That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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