I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
