woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
