The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
