I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
