I hate your face
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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