Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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