Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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