TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
