So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
