my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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