I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
