Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
