its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Randomize