she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
